RSGOLD-RUNESCAPEGOLD

I personally never heard anyone in athletics refer to Ladejo as Quiet Storm. Some simply won't.Five years ago, in the aftermath of his 400m victory at the European Championships in Helsinki, the emergent and flamboyant figure of Du'Aine Ladejo set about the task of polishing up his brand image. Why haven't "they" been calling him the Moss Side Meteor all these years?It is a mysterious process all right Some names stick; some don't. Unless you wanted to use his current location and call him the Hornsey Hustler No Not so good Hornsey Hurrier? No. Hornsey Harrier? Wrong distance.Then there is Britain's European champion, no less, Darren Campbell.

See what I mean?What I don't understand is this: if they didn't call Linford Christie the Northwood Nuke or the Shepherd's Bush Stormer (and, sensibly, they didn't) then why give Gardener the US treatment?And what about his fellow British sprinters - why have they been left out? Dwain Chambers He would have to be the Finsbury Park Flyer, I suppose. Much too American.As with song titles about places, the name game doesn't seem to work when you get to Britain It's the "Twenty four hours from Tulse Hill" factor Try it Colwyn Bay Dreaming Surfin' UK Sweet Home Altrincham York, York. Jason Gardener, a nice, politely spoken young man from the West Country who has recently broken 10 seconds for the 100 metres, is now being referred to as the "Bath Bullet".Gardener may have a shaven head, but the term bullet simply doesn't fit with him Or with Bath, come to think of it Much too brash. They only know that "they" means someone else, someone smarter, more on the ball. Someone who got in at the basement.In the last couple of weeks, "they" have struck again - this time in Britain. "The man I'm calling the Kansas Cannonball..." You never hear that, do you? It's always them They are calling someone something And no one seems to know who "they" are.

Thus we have the Dark Destroyer, the Louisville Lip and the Flying Finn (this has been recycled over the years for Paavo Nurmi, Juha Vaatainen and Lasse Viren, but is currently available once again).Who thinks of these names? They do. Take something personal or geographical, add something alliterative. The game goes on everywhere, a standing invitation to a playful parallel universe. An old game is being revived in athletics circles at the moment, which seems to have been given new life by the dramatic sprinting performances of America's Maurice Greene - or to give him his proper title, the Kansas Cannonball. The principle is widely established in individual sports. Schoolday memories aside, there is such a lot of harmless fun to be had with sporting names. IT HAD to be a Yugoslavian football team, otherwise it didn't work. Then you could have the inspirational midfielder, Magic; the unreliable left-back, Panic; the midfield dynamo, Frantic, and his steadier team- mate, Realistic; the scorer given to over-the-top celebrations, Ecstatic.